Ubiquitous: (adj.) having or seeming to have the ability to be everywhere at once; omnipresent
On March 13, 1964, Kitty Genovese was returning to her home in Queens around 3:30 am, when she was stabbed by Winston Mosley. Kitty called out for help and several people who heard her cries turned on their bedroom lights and saw what had happened. Mosley ran away, but then as Kitty lay dying in the streets, the lights turned off again. Mosley saw this and came back, stabbing her again - this time to death. Approximately 38 people heard Kitty's cries for help, yet no one called the police except for Greta Schwartz, who called some time later after Kitty had died.
Shoes everywhere are crying out for help, and yet the general public is turning their back to them, assuming, much like in the Kitty Genovese case, that someone else will take care of the problem. No one tried to save Kitty until it was too late, and I fear the same tragic case for shoes.
It takes courage to take a stand, especially for something as ubiquitous as the ugly shoes we all see walking around the streets. Redeeming the sacred name of the shoe may seem like a daunting and impossible task, but I love shoes too much to stay silent and watch their deformation with tears in my eyes. There are many things blatantly insulting the shoe at this time. Perhaps the most predominant at this time being:
Hooves.
That's right, I said it. Hooves. If you wear ankle boots, I'm sorry, but you just put hooves on your feet and have thereby transformed yourself into a cow. Or a horse. Of another grass-eating animal with feet that gelatin is made out of.
There are endless problems with ankle boots, to name a few...
1. Shoes, though beauty is ALWAYS a first priority when it comes to choosing a shoe, still serve a purpose. They have meaning in life besides making your side of the closet look much more cheery and inviting than your spouses or roommates side of closet. (Some day I might post a picture to prove this point.)
A lovely pair of peep toe pumps make your summer dress look even better.
A gorgeous pair of Chanel Thigh High boots under your winter coat keeps you away from the dreary fate of stubby flat snow boots and chunky clothes that winter brings to most of its sufferers.
vs
You see my point?
So then why, WHY would anyone think that ankle boots are justified? It's like constantly living in world of deceit.
Cow: "Oh hey, do you like my cute new boots I got for fall?"
Human: "Yes, I love them! Roll up your pants so I can see the top!"
Cow: "JUST KIDDING! They actually stop right above my ankle. My feet say it's winter but my legs scream 'It's summer!'"
There are seasons. In summer you wear white. In the winter you do not. In the winter you wear tights. In the summer you do not. In the summer you wear florals. In the winter you do not. IN THE WINTER YOU WEAR BOOTS. IN THE SUMMER YOU DO NOT.
Boots are not belts. Belts are thrown on for added measure, (hopefully) not because you actually need help keeping your pants up. If it's a hot summer's day and you're heading out to work in your Indie dress, you don't look in your shoe closet and say, "I think I'll wear boots today ... for added measure."
No.
Shoes are not accessories. They are fundamentals. They are as much of your outfit, if not more, than your dress or pants or shirt.
And, speaking of hooves with dresses or skirts ... it's not flattering. I mean, I'm just saying, not only do you now have hooves, but you also have cankles. The stop-and-start on your legs takes off inches. And really, no one in their right minds wears tennis shoes with a dress. So tell me, what is the difference? They both cover your feet (don't even THINK about peep toe hooves, that just makes you a centaur!) and then in both cases you're wearing a dress.
Do you know what that makes you?
A sister missionary.
It's not okay. The shoes in this world are not okay, and they need help.
Hooves need to be stopped, along with...
modified hooves
Crocs
]Don't even worry, I'll have an entire post on these
Boots that once had potential until they cut out the toe and the back ... two vital parts of a boot
adult converse or anything that exposes this much foot that's not a heel
and ... if not most importantly ... these. Birkenstocks/Arizona sandals. Perhaps one of the ugliest, most terrible shoes to walk the earth, not to mention that their owners all-too-frequently pair them with socks.
Not. Okay. Ever.
So, like Elle Woods says in Legally Blonde 2, "Speak up!"
It's the only way we can save the shoes.
